Perhaps, it’s just a matter of time
Not everyone sees or experiences time in the same ways. Knowing that could change everything.
Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
What do you do about that member of your team that seems to always be late?
The same one that forgets to “get back to you later,” when they promised to.
The person who can also get so wrapped up in a task that, sometimes, they don’t even answer your Slack messages, or respond to emails.
What are the options?
It’s complicated, right? You like them as a person. They’re really smart and good at certain things.
But, at the same time, you can’t let this sort of thing slide. It wouldn’t be fair.
You’ve tried being nice. But, no change.
You’ve tried giving them warnings. Still, no change.
You hate to do it, but what choice do you have? Maybe, it’s time you get more serious about this.
Maybe it’s time to start making some threats?
Perhaps you need to put some fear in that person by letting them know their job is on the line.
Before you do that…
Photo by Gregoire Jeanneau on Unsplash
What would change for you if you found out that they experience time differently than you do?
I don’t mean they have a difference of preference.
I mean, what if their brain was wired in such a way that an hour could feel like a few minutes and a few minutes like an hour?
What if their short term memory was often better measured in seconds rather than minutes, hours, or days?
Many neurodivergent people, especially those with ADHD, like me, have difficulty accurately processing the passage of time. I have struggles with my short term memory. I have a hard time conceptualizing the future.
All of this means that I’m operating in a state of mind where time only exists in two states: “now” and “not now.”
What’s the solution?
One thing is for certain, the most effective solutions are not rewards or punishments based on their ability to try harder to meet expectations.
A much better approach is to reset your expectations according to how they experience time.
The only way to do that is to make it safe enough to have an honest conversation about their needs, so you can truly work together to co-create solutions.
Once I started having that sort of relationship with my peers, I started being able to contribute and thrive.
Maybe your team mate just needs the same understanding.
Here are a few of the best things that help me live a better life with ADHD and Autism:
🎧 Listen to Brain.fm (I literally use this app everyday)
⚡️ Learn more about Hyperfocus: The Complete ADHD Productivity System (includes Super Brain)
✓ Try the task list built for our brains: Todoist
…
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