One Thing is Many Things

When ADHD and Autism turn a single event into a paralyzing series of steps

Published in

Productive Ideas

5 min readApr 18, 2024

I got up this morning to walk my dog and on our way out of the house, before we got out the door, she peed on the carpet (she’s old and sick). That single event triggered a cascade of thoughts that nearly crashed my operating system.

Photo by Tim Foster on Unsplash

This is a defining feature of ADHD that people on the outside often misunderstand. What they see is someone sitting still, failing to take action or accomplish a seemingly simple task. But for those of us with ADHD, that single task is expanded in our mind into thousands of smaller steps that need to get accomplished, which then mount to such a degree that the ability to even begin that process seems insurmountable.

But this problem can extend beyond the individual task we need to complete. These unexpected changes or interruptions can trigger a chain reaction that can take out an entire day if we’re not careful. Because I have difficulty processing the passage of time, or understanding the relationship of events to one another without an external calendar, a 15-minute detour in my morning, can lead to concern that dinner plans may be ruined. My ability to descern the reality of that concern varies from incident-to-incident.

This feeling spirals and grows until inside my head all I hear is a thousand vocies screaming my task list at me, all while everything is simultaneously quiet. For me, this is what executive dysfunction feels like, and I’m stuck.

Us and Them

I try hard not to place neurodivergent and neurotypical people on opposing sides. However, in some cases, where differences in how we experience the world are concerned, I think it’s important to distinguish and speak to each group separately.

For fellow neurodivergent folks, we have two things to consider:

Sharing our experience and concerns to create the conditions where we can receive support, and build informed awareness for others.
Identifying strategies to mitigate the negative ramifications or interrupt our pattern of converting a single event into a chain reaction of steps.

For neurotypical people, there are likewise two things to consider:

Before making any assumptions about someone might not be accomplishing a task, be curious enough to want to know the reason, and a safe enough person that someone might share the truth with you.
Before offering advice, solutions, or support to someone else, ensure that the offer you’re making is one that actually helps the person with their unique brain, rather than making the assumption that what would help you, would help them.

My Strategy

The following is my own personal strategy and not to be understood as prescriptions for anyone else. However, if you struggle with the same challenges, I’m hopeful that it helps you.

My main strategy for overcoming the challenges brought about by my brain, always follows the same logic and formula: use a trigger to initiate a routine with a high chance of success.

I have found that, for myself, momentum is the key to nearly all things. Following that logic, I know that my high chance of success is primarily a question of being able to begin since once I’m moving, I tend to accelerate in a consistent direction. But remember, this is easier said than done because sometimes, even taking the action to initiate the trigger is too much.

In order to increase my chances of success getting started, I rely heavily on my calendar to show where I’m supposed to be and what I’m supposed to do at all times. This way, when it comes to beginning, I don’t have to think about WHAT I need to do, I just need to look at my calendar and go where it tells me. Planning my time ahead of time is critical. If I have a schedule, I have a decent shot of getting unstuck once I initiate the trigger.

The only thing left after that is to make sure the trigger is always within arms reach.

Trigger — Routine — Success

The Trigger: Turn on Brain.fm* (music without lyrics for focusing) and listen through noise cancelling headphones.

The Routine: Look at my schedule or next action and begin immediately without thinking (Mel Robbins 5-second rule)

The High Chance of Success: Commit to only the first 5-minutes of the task, knowing that my momentum will likely kick in and carry me the rest of the way.

This is what works for me. Whether or not you choose the same triggers, routines, or activities with a high chance of success, the framework should still help you when you get stuck as it is based on the validated theory of habit formation.

*The link to Brain.fm included in this post is an affiliate link. But to be clear, I’m not just shilling for them to make a buck. I listen to Brain.fm almost every single day over the last 62 weeks. I legitimately LOVE Brain.fm and my life is significantly improved because of it.